Physician, Heal Thyself!

Another Early and Late Career Collaboration with Lilian White, MD

Exchanging ideas with Dr. Lilian White about what each one of us might write on this topic, I ended up focusing very hard on the word HEAL. In Swedish, the word for physician is LÄKARE, which literally means HEALER. But the sad truth is that we treat a whole lot more than we heal. The way I understand healing is restoring natural and at least nearly perfect health. That may be the case with repairing a laceration or casting a fracture, but it hardly characterizes what we do when we prescribe medications for chronic health conditions, substances that mitigate symptoms but often cause secondary, unwanted, and sometimes downright dangerous side effects.

By now we know that there are just a few disease mechanisms that cause most of the chronic conditions affecting modern human beings. There is inflammation, which in large part is related to the foods we eat. Ultraprocessed foods and foods with too much sugar or unnatural additives are drivers of many such conditions. We also know that physical inactivity lies behind many conditions. Stress, screen time and sleep quality also threaten our health these days.

If these drivers of disease and ill health are recognized early enough, healing is possible, but sometimes all we can do as physicians is harm reduction.

I believe the fundamental principle behind the phrase PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF is that we need to be stewards of our own bodies and our health and demonstrate and share that ideal to our patients. I also, naturally, believe that by taking care of our own health, we can do more good for more people as we decrease our own risk of illness and burnout. Ignoring our own needs in order to maximize our output, productivity or whatever you choose to call it is ultimately wasteful.

Now, I readily admit there were times when I put my work before my own health and there were times when I could have been more present for my family. There were the years when I worked 6 days a week, 40 hours in Bucksport and 20 in Aroostook County, 223 miles between my two houses, 4 hours when the weather allowed, much longer many times in the winter. Three times, I swerved around a moose that was standing still in the middle of I-95 as I was driving almost 80 miles an hour in the early morning or late evening hours during my self imposed commute. During those years and a few other times in my life I put my work so far ahead of my own health and wellness that I definitely didn’t live up to the adage of healing myself so that I would be likely to do more good for my patients in the long run.

It is often said that physicians make the worst patients. I’m definitely in that category. There are two aspects of this, at least in my own case. One is that I’m pretty opinionated by virtue of my knowledge and experience. I know the back story to many of the things we now consider axiomatic, but that have changed more than once during my years in this profession (or should I use the word business - no, that’s another topic). The other is that, also in part because of my many years of doctoring, I have become more than a little fatalistic in my views on preventive medicine. What makes sense when you look at populations doesn’t always make sense for individuals. I sometimes say “I provide health care but I don’t partake in it”.

I have seen too many times that bad things, bad diseases, happen to people who do all the screenings and follow all the rules to try to stay healthy.

Here’s a 2 year old article I happened to read tonight:

The Nordic-European Initiative on Colorectal Cancer (NordICC) was a large, multi center, randomized study that investigated the effects of population-based colonoscopy screening on the risks of colorectal cancer and related death at 10 years. It was published in 2022. Its conclusion was "The number needed to invite to undergo screening to prevent one case of colorectal cancer was 455 (95% CI 270 to 1429). The risk of death from any cause was 11.03% in the invited group and 11.04% in the usual-care group (risk ratio 0.99; 95% CI 0.96 to 1.04)."

I wonder if this has anything to do with the statistic that a quarter of all polyps are missed during the average colonoscopy.

So what’s a skeptical, seasoned senior physician to do if he doesn’t like to partake too much in healthcare for himself? I have hypertension and there have been times when I refilled my own medication, but for a few years I asked one of my partners to refill them for me. Now I see a nurse practitioner I once helped train, who is in her own private Direct Primary Care (DPC) practice. She’s always respectful of my clinical suggestions.

When Lilian and I collaborate, one of us usually gets to share their draft first, then the other shares theirs and then we publish our finished pieces more or less simultaneously. This time, she shared hers first. Because of that, I will tag on to her paragraph about moral injury, a concept closely linked, but perhaps not always synonymous with burnout. But my own healing journey has involved two things directly related my work:

First, in 2008, during a time when I felt a lot of pressure in my work, I started writing my blog about my experiences, feelings and reflections. Doing this helped me focus on what really mattered to me in my day to day and long term view of my work. I often slipped my personal experiences and reflections into my writing, too and the course corrections they inspired.

Second, when the computerized medical record started to more and more control my actions and monopolize my time, robbing me of quality time with my patients and time for my life outside of my work, I quit. I joined a practice with a different business model, not piecework, not Fee-For-Service but results driven. Not “get them in, get them out”, but “make’m better”, whether it’s a house call, video visit or phone call. Where I work now it doesn’t matter how it happens - as long as it does.

So that’s how I try to preserve, protect or regain my own health: I eat healthy, do lots of manual labor on the farm, spend time with my dogs and my horses, enjoy healthy relationships with those I love, reflect and write about my role as a doctor, and view each one of my patients as more than a number, more than a Ka-Ching, but another human being I have the privilege of helping or guiding, for however how long.